News, views, bullshit and untruths from LS23      

Latest Rumours

We only wanted some pointing done above the door Jeff. Where’s our fucking house gone ?

Found outside Southbank. One massive chef shoe. Please contact the Barefoot Gallery if you have lost it.

Wetherby Xmas Lights 2019 - Update

Harry couldn't resist a pint in the Black Bull and has been captured by the Hunter team. He & Luke will be switching on the lights on 21st November.

Wetherby Xmas Lights 2019

Can 2 teams of local celebrities hide from the Wetherby Xmas Lights Committee for 14 days and avoid having to do this year's switch on...again?

Rumour has it, it was taking Stanny some time to adapt to the all inclusive concept

All I want for Crinkles is you...

Rumour has it, Emily has talked Tony into joining the Bramham panto this year. Apparently now if she rubs the magic lamp, he appears from the Fox & Hounds.

Get rid of those unwanted Halloween treats when Neil opens the confectionary exchange at 10am this morning. *Major brands only. Strictly no Aldi Titan bars.

Stick to the path

When you've been on the beer all day in Leeds and you've caught the No. 7 back to Clifford. You've needed a slash since Seacroft Bus Station and you’re just coming out of Thorner.

Come shop with us, for ever and ever and ever

Dr Loomis has heard the Garlic Mushroom Parmo's at TF are to die for 

Jigsaw is out and about today, trying to find some tricknuts for his tricycle.

Here’s Johnny ! And it looks like he’s been on the Peroni again
Freddy was hoping the dermaplane facial might clear up some patches of dry skin
The BSpa Pumpkin Master is back for Halloween19
Southbank, the best Italian food around, badda bing
Lurking in the dark corner of some boozer this Halloween...Jim Reaper

Gloria: He’s probably thinking about other women.

Gaz: I wonder if he’ll bring Eddie on again at half time ?

Ordered a Big Mac from McDonalds, Hunslet at 3pm. Apparently our delivery driver is just passing Jct 47 on the A1M. Wish I’d ordered a meal now.
Rumour has it, Official Secrets, the movie filmed partly in Boston Spa featuring Keira Knightley is out now in cinemas.
Captain Tugwash
We deny these allegations, our account has obviously been hacked.
Chicken bhuna, lamb bhuna, prawn bhuna, a Thorp Archa special tikka masala, mushroom rice, bag of chips, keema naan and 9 poppadoms
Experience the thrill of Coach Trip by simply catching the number 7 bus Leeds to Harrogate. It costs as much as a European vacation and takes about 2 weeks.

Darno with old best friend Wilson

Darno with new best friend Wilson

Morning all it’s 8.30am Sunday and if you live in Clifford you can probably hear that faint buzz?

You’re trying to sleep and yes it sounds like a wasp stuck in a drainpipe in the distance. Or a neighbour has bought an Aldi hedge trimmer.

Fear not, that’s just the Clifford Flying Club circling overhead in a Cessna Model 404 light aircraft.

At dawn on a bastard weekend the CFC like nothing better than to jump in a plane and do continual laps in the skies over Clifford for about 5 fucking hours.

It’s also not uncommon for the CFC to practice at 11pm through the week, honing their dive bombing and barrel roll skills through the clouds above your house like shit red arrows.

Give them a wave this morning from your bedroom window like I do.

*Residents are politely asked not to try bring down the aircraft by pelting the undercarriage with bricks.

Rumour has it, Beano has finally joined the world of Facebook after dusting off his trusty Commodore 64
The search for Tom Foolery's next pot washer continues....
Rumour has it, on his way to work Jacko innocently gets mistaken for the UCI pacesetter and there's now 4600 cyclists following him to Wealstun Prison

Rumour has it, the Costcutter electric car charge-points are now open for business.

They are economically powered by a massive 1000L diesel generator and the constant burning of fossil fuels in the supermarket's basement.

Tonight, Kevin inspects a small green one bedroom property which has suddenly sprung up without warning, in a field near the Albion at Clifford.

Setting sail for the Cayman's on a new adventure. 🏴‍☠️
Rumour has it, David's doing some cycling for a great cause, chuck him a few quid if you can.
Not sure you've put enough meat in this sandwich Neil, get back on the slicer and lets get into the overdraft
Rumour has it, Geoffrey's on his way to the quiz night.