News, views, bullshit and untruths from LS23      

Congratulations to the syndicate at Clifford Moor Farm Kennels for winning £500 on the lottery last night.

If you drink whiskey on a Thursday, it sometimes takes 3 days to get up.

It’s now Sunday and apparently the King has just risen. Amen.

"Wetherby Fella"

Dougie Yeadons warns price increases are likely due to some cargo ship stuck in Wetherby
Boris has just announced that anyone showing a #RumourVIP card when entering a pub will not need a separate vaccination passport
Summer Holidays 2021

Government confirms there’s no shortage of vaccine in LS23

Rumour has it, Jacko has released a little equity from his house this year to see him through the first day of the Cheltenham Festival.
Morning people, Neil doodah, a 7.5 miler done, home for a light brunch, Chelsea game, few beers, few G&T's, c'mon Leeds
When the family paid £32 million for your wedding but you got married in secret 3 days before
Gordon’s Booze Balance
Gordon invites contestants to balance different sized trays of booze on a bar stool in the Albion. The more booze they build up, the more they can get smashed.
In tomorrow's episode, Jimmy heads out on the bridle path to Aberford with just a Mars Bar and 28 tins of Worthington's Best Bitter.
Watching Inside Cherynobyl with Ben Fogle in HD
In the budget today, duty on beer was frozen for another year meaning the cost of a pint down Boston Spa will have only gone up by 75p when the bars reopen
Morning, anyone want any ciggies bringing back?

Rumour has it, Liam Gallagher and Stormzy will be joined at Leeds Fest this year by local legend Azzy Osbourne who will perform a selection of motown classics in the Guinness tent on Sunday afternoon.

The LUFC murals we have had commissioned has turned out well
21st of June 2021, sometime just after lunch, LS23
Pancake Day. The only day of the year Jacko doesn’t shit himself when he sees the wife getting the frying pan out of the cupboard.
Happy Valentines Day from shopkeeping lothario Hugh Hanby and the Costcutter bunnies.
Happy Chinese New Year Bitches

To celebrate, the Birds Nest will be giving all customers a 50/50 chance of getting some free prawn crackers with any order.

- Sometimes prawn crackers

- Sometimes go knackers

It solely depends if he’s on the phone and remembers to put them in when you collect your meal.

Please don’t interrupt him to ask, simply wait until you get home to fully enjoy this ancient Chinese game of jeopardy.
♫ We've got cheese and bacon loaded fries
Meat and meat free Vegan pies
Blue cheese, cream teas and spicy hot wasabi peas
Burgers, pizzas, parmos
And then at times
Some Beef Wellington Sunday platters
From a guy at Newton Kyme, Kyme, Kyme,
Kyme, Kyme, Kyme , Kyme , Kyme

We’ve got sandwiches, different cakes
Artisan breads freshly baked
Spirits, wines, choice of craft beers
You can buy it all from here...

God bless Tom Foolery
Viva Tom Foolery
Long live Tom Foolery
C'est magnifique Tom Foolery
Magnifique Tom Foolery ♫