News, views, bullshit and untruths from LS23      


Can someone please ring the bell at St Edwards

Rumour has it, as they waited for the San Antonio Coastguard, Rachel warned Lou not to expect her deposit back for the boat hire

Rumour has it, Jim Farth-Un, supreme shift leader at North Coors Beer is in bother again after he accidently hooked up Nitrogen instead of CO2 and successfully launched 2 surface to air 11gallon beer kegs into East Tadcaster

Rumour has it, we bumped into H this morning on his way to Fella’s Only Swim

...we’re off and Jacklyn leads the pack in this first stage through the picturesque backdrop of Doncaster Town Centre.

Rumour has it, following the overwhelming success of their vegan Percy Pigs, M&S have launched a newly packaged bacon for kids.

Rumour has it, Darreninstantly regretted his Bottomless Prosecco Brunch idea when he spotted 'Darnton party of 21’ on his booking sheet this morning

Rumour has it, the Beatles eleventh studio album was very nearly called Clarendon Road

Rumour has it, the lads from the Bird's Nest have been given the go ahead to install a new telephone system at Bank House

Rumour has it, today, in celebration of St George’s Day, everything from the Blue Dragon cook range at Costcutter is only twice the price of Morrisons

Rumour has it, James has opted for a day in the shade tomorrow

And rumour it is told, that on the third day the King has risen and gone for some tapas

Rumour has it, the Crown is to remain a shit tip for the foreseeable as Tesco are told to ‘fuck right off.

Rumour has it, it’s a big weekend for Andy starting with an early supper with the lads.

Andy: Table for 26 please.

Waiter: But there’s only 13 of you.

Andy: Yes but we all want to sit on one side.

Rumour has it, the Old Star, Clifford reopens tonight. Jeff tried to let everyone know last night but he wasn't allowed to use his phone.
"I'm not sure there's enough dogs in here for a Friday night at 9pm, lets ring Battersea and see if they can send a few more" - Night King, Clifford

Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons and Frequenter of Tom Foolery.

Or Dany as we call her, working in Cooplands down Boston Spa

Yes just 1 sausage roll, no I don’t want 4 khaleesi...

We are c-c-closed on a Sunday
Rumour has it, Robbo has now turned the central heating off until November

Rumour has it, in 1894 Harry Houdini wowed crowds at Boston Spa when he escaped from 12 bicycle locks borrowed from the Stew & Oyster.

The crowd was unanimously impressed except one onlooker who was seriously concerned about the insurance integrity of the chains.

"Thanks for the guide CRM, I managed to knock a pair of squalking arsehats out of a conifer tree with my shoe at 4.17 this morning" - Chris Packham CBE

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Rumour has it, Thorp Arch Retail Park is just missing a Starbucks and a Greggs